How to Prime Yourself to Succeed When Failure Isn't an Option

Maybe you’ve finally scored a sales call with a contractor you’ve pursued for months. Or maybe an important client has called to let you know they are switching their business. Or perhaps you’ve been invited to speak at an industry conference.

Usually, when the stakes are high people simply lock up and let anxiety take over. However, exceptional circumstances require an exceptional response. The well worn adage that, “failure to prepare is preparing to fail,” rings particularly true in these circumstances. What’s required is a response that is product of deliberative preparation that goes beyond how you typically prepare.

The excerpt below is from Daniel Coyle, author of The Talent Code and a blog about performance improvement that is well worth reading.

Here’s Coyle:

When it comes to approaching a major performance test, most of us follow advice that can be distilled into three words: Focus on success.

That is, we prepare ourselves by banishing doubt and visualizing the positive. We vividly imagine ourselves making all the right moves with fluid grace, with zero mistakes or missteps. And it feels good.

But that's not what the pros do.

What's interesting, though, is that when you look closely at world-class performers, most don't use this feel-good approach. In fact, they do the opposite--what you might call the feel-bad-first approach.

It goes like this: First, they focus on the mistakes and figure out, in detail, how they will react to them. Then they visualize the positive. A great example of this is the Green Berets, the U.S. Army Special Forces soldiers. Teams spend weeks training for a mission (most of which happen at night). On the day of the mission, they follow a two-part routine.

First, team members spend the entire morning going over every possible mistake or disaster that could happen during the mission. Every possible screwup is mercilessly examined and linked to an appropriate response: If the helicopter crash-lands, we'll do X. If we are dropped off at the wrong spot, we'll do Y. If we are outnumbered, we'll do Z.

After some hours of doing this, the team members take a break and have lunch together. They socialize, relax, and maybe take a nap. Then they spend the afternoon in Phase Two, talking about everything going exactly right. They review each move, visualizing each step, and vividly imagine it going 100 percent perfectly.

You might call this a Balanced-Positive Approach: equally split between negative and positive, and ending on the positive. Notice the complete wall of separation between the two phases. The team doesn't toggle back and forth between positive and negative. The two phases are kept as separate as night and day: First comes all negative, then all positive.

Many top performers (Steve Jobs and Peyton Manning jump to mind) embody this approach. Half the time, they are persnickety, chronically dissatisfied, negative, doubtful, obsessed with potential failures. The other half of the time, they're incredibly positive, confident performers.

This isn't surprising. The balanced-positive approach helps you avoid the pitfalls of positivity--namely, that you get surprised and demoralized by failure--by replacing it with a preparation that matches the reality of the world and also leaves you ready for performance. Good things and bad things will happen, and you can't control either. But you can prepare.

Now it's your turn.

Say you're making a sales call. Start with potential mistakes or mini disasters. What if your demo locks up? What if the meeting gets pushed back and you only get 10 minutes instead of 30? What if you're asked questions you can't answer? What if a key decision maker isn't in the room? Think of a number of likely--and even unlikely--scenarios and determine how you will handle them.

Then take a break.

And then come back and rehearse--but this time focus on everything going perfectly. Hit your marks. Roll through your demo. Nail your close.

That way, you won't go into the meeting worried or anxious. You'll go in confident, prepared--and truly prepared to succeed